I wish I could have saved you from this pain, but you would've regretted not going through it.
After you turn 30, you'll start dating a guy that you first thought was just going to be a hookup. It turns out the one night stand you thought is going to last almost a year. There will be some hard times and lots of good times. In the end, he'll break up with you. The reasons are that he felt that the relationship wasn't going to develop any further. You'll understand that it could have grown, but only if the both of you put the work into it rather than being lazy about it. Relationships take a bit of work and it can seem like everything gets routine. You'll remember this the next time you get into a relationship and work through things more.
It'll be hard, because you gave yourself wholeheartedly to him, but he couldn't return the same feelings for you as much as he wanted to. He'll worry about that a lot, which will stress him out and then stress you out. Instead of just enjoying the time you spend together, he'll continue worrying that he can't love the way you want him to. It will be emotionally draining for the both of you.
It'll be hard, because you gave yourself wholeheartedly to him, but he couldn't return the same feelings for you as much as he wanted to. He'll worry about that a lot, which will stress him out and then stress you out. Instead of just enjoying the time you spend together, he'll continue worrying that he can't love the way you want him to. It will be emotionally draining for the both of you.
You'll feel broken and feel like you just lost a big part of yourself, which you did. Time will heal and you will move on. I know it'll be tough, but you need to hang on. You gave yourself to him unselfishly and that's who you are. After you lost Andy, you thought you'd never love again. You ended up falling in love with Jason and that's what is going to hurt the most. It's not the end of the world. You fell in love twice already and you'll probably fall in love again. Hopefully the next will be more successful.
Take the time you need to heal. Remember this: "Our past teaches us lessons that make us more aware and more human" and "At least your not worried about getting shot at!" You'll learn that your are much stronger than you really are. Remember you deserve to be happy and be with someone that will share that happiness with you. You will be fine.
~ Your future self.
P.S. The picture above is the last picture you two took as a couple. It was also the first and last time you two ever slow danced.
