Tonight I ended up going to a bachelor bar hoping party for a good friend. It so happens my ex is good friends with him and his new boy is also friends with him. At first I thought it would be weird hanging out with my ex and his new squeeze, but it really wasn't so bad. I think I'm really moving on now. It's only been about 7 weeks (not sure) since we had broken up and he's moved on quicker than me. I know I should feel anger, hurt, and be super pissed off, but I'm not. I think I've finally grown up.
I'm really happy for him, since all I ever wanted was for him to be happy. I had hoped that it was me during our relationship, but I just wasn't the right guy. Hopefully M.A. will be the right one. I honestly don't want him to end up getting his heart broken (it's not the usual case for him). He is usually the heart breaker. I just want him to be in a relationship where he can be himself and still be loved. I loved him for who he is regardless of him being an asshole and I want him to find someone that will too. Maybe when he finally feels true love for a person, his attitude will change and show the loving side that I saw a few times in our relationship.
Seeing him and M.A. tonight was easier than I thought. I kept my insanity in check. I guess it helped chatting with him before we ended up at the party. Chatting with him almost felt like old times yet different.
He said he always trusted me and I realized that I didn't always trust him. It was hard too after so many untrustworthy people that I had relationships with. What I learned from him, was that I shouldn't be with anyone I don't trust and not to settle. At the same time, I shouldn't be searching for something better if I already have a great thing.
One day I'll meet they guy that was meant to be with him. I fell in love twice already and it didn't work out, so maybe the 3rd time is a charm.
Anyways, I'm off to bed. I have to be up at 6am on a Saturday so I can compete in this dragon boat race. Hopefully my should will last and I can make it through all 3 races.
Thanks for listening!
The moving on kid
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