I was talking to my friend last night, because I was still feeling weird about the whole ex and M.A. (the new guy in his life). I was venting a lot about how I felt and then he asked me, "What do you miss most about your ex?" and I couldn't answer that. I told him I don't know what I miss about him and I still don't know. I do miss companionship, but it's not necessarily with him. I had to think really hard and didn't have an answer. It made me think about why I was really upset and hurt about the whole thing.
I think what made me really mad is that I was rejected. To be honest, I was actually thinking of breaking up with him if things didn't get better. I already planned to talk to him after we got back from Montana, but he totally took me by surprise. I think the reason I can't cry about the relationship is my way of revenge, because he always "bragged" that he was always making his exes cry and was the one that always did the dumping and was never dumped. No one likes rejection and I think that's what hurts the most.
Another friend of mine also told me that the dumper always moves on a lot quicker than the dumpee (not a real word). I totally understand that. I remember that I moved on a lot quicker when I was the dumper.
So back to the question about what I miss most about him. I don't know. I miss cuddling, but I've cuddle with others since and it was nice. I forgot all about him in that moment. I think what I missed most is really about being in a relationship, it really doesn't matter who the relationship is with. I spent almost a year in a relationship and I think that's what this void is for me....being single. I just have to learn how to be single again.
Thanks for listening!
Not so insane afterall.
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